What If I Hurt My Baby? Understanding Harm Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum OCD

Bringing home a new baby is supposed to be joyful - but what if you can’t stop thinking about hurting your baby?

If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “What if I snap? What if I drop the baby? What if I do something terrible on purpose?”, you’re not alone. Many new parents have scary, unwanted thoughts like these. It’s one of the most common ways Postpartum OCD shows up.

What Is Postpartum OCD?

Postpartum OCD happens when intrusive, unwanted thoughts center around your baby’s safety. These thoughts often feel disturbing and out of character:

• “What if I drop the baby?”

• “What if I hurt my baby on purpose?”

• “What if I secretly want to harm my child?”

These thoughts do NOT mean you want to harm your baby. In fact, they cause so much anxiety because you care so deeply.

Are These Thoughts Normal?

Intrusive thoughts about harming your baby feel horrifying, but they’re surprisingly common in new parents with OCD. Studies show that up to 50% of new moms and dads have intrusive thoughts about accidental or intentional harm.

The difference is, for parents with Postpartum OCD, these thoughts get stuck. You might:

✅ Mentally replay the thought, trying to figure out what it “means” about you

✅ Avoid being alone with your baby out of fear

✅ Seek constant reassurance from loved ones

✅ Feel intense shame and fear that you’re secretly dangerous

Why Do These Thoughts Happen?

Postpartum OCD intrusive thoughts have nothing to do with your true desires or intentions. They happen because your brain is wired to protect your baby so it scans for every possible threat, even threats from you.

Instead of letting the thought go, your mind tries to get 100% certainty that it would never happen. This backfires, making the thought feel more real and distressing.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

If these thoughts scare you and make you feel anxious or ashamed, that’s actually a sign that they go against your values. Parents with postpartum psychosis lose touch with reality and don’t feel scared by the idea of harming their baby. Postpartum OCD means you’re hyper-aware and terrified of acting on something you would never want to do.

How Therapy Helps

You don’t have to keep suffering in silence. Evidence-based therapy for postpartum OCD can help you break free from the cycle of intrusive thoughts and fear.

✅ Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) teaches you how to face these thoughts without doing mental rituals, so your brain learns they’re just thoughts.

✅ Inference-Based CBT (I-CBT) helps you see how OCD tricks you into doubting your intentions — and how to trust yourself again.

Ready to Stop Living in Fear?

If you’re struggling with “what if I hurt my baby” intrusive thoughts, reach out today. You deserve to enjoy your baby and feel safe in your own mind. I specialize in supporting new parents through postpartum OCD in Campbell, San Jose, and across California with online therapy.

✨ Reach out today to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward relief.

Caitlyn Oscarson, LMFT

Helping new parents find relief from intrusive thoughts with evidence-based OCD therapy.